Schwartz's Trip to the petting zoo
by Farfie sama
Summary: Oh, man, i suck at this stuff. Well, uh... lemony, after chapter one(maybe)? I dunno, please just r/r =^_^=
1. Chapter One: Getting there, and Terroriz...

  
Schwartz's visit to the petting zoo  
  
Chapter 1:  
  
One day, while Nagi was sitting on the couch listening to the sounds of the   
TV, not that anybody ever really watched it, it was just nice to have something else to  
listen to besides the never ending noises of ahorny Schulderig, and a psychotic Farfello,  
either going at it, or speaking about going at it, or Schulderig begging to go at it.  
  
  
"...at bandon petting safari, not only are you a winner, but so are the animals..."  
  
Nagi cocked his head towards the television just in time to see a little girl snuggling a baby  
tiger to her cheek.  
  
'I wanna do that!!!' he thought to himself  
  
  
~~~~~~^Later that day^~~~~~~  
  
"Crawford...I was wondering..." Nagi started sheepishly afraid the uptight American  
would snap at him...and he was right...  
  
"What is it? Can't you see i'm busy?!" he snapped at Nagi.  
  
"Can we PLEASE go to the Bandon Petting Safari?!"   
  
"Why should we?" sneered Farfello, while grinning perversly at SchuSchu.  
  
"It'll hurt god..." grinned Nagi manipulativly  
  
"Let's go! And let's go NOW!!!" yelled Farfello as he jumped up and did a dance.  
  
*Crayfish ((cough cough I mean...)) CRAWFORD, rolled his eyes*  
  
"All right, whatever, you can all go..."  
  
"You hafta come too, because...the fic writer wants you to" Nagi whined  
  
"Yeees, you haaaaave to coooooooooome" a random voice yelled  
  
"Gah! Who was that?" Crayfish ((sorry sorry, i mean crawford)) squealed.  
  
"The fic writer is, and she'll have you killed if you don't, so come" Farfie stated  
  
^^*grin* Thank you Farfie-love, I'll remember that, if he doesn't go, you have fun  
hurting god by mutalating his body, kay?^^  
  
"Alright, bai bai" Farfie grinned,"Coming crawford?"  
  
"Why not."  
  
((A/N: That took entirely too long, gomen nasai =^^=))  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~^At the park^~~~~~~~~  
  
  
"How'd we get to Oregon so fast?" Nagi asked.  
  
"Who cares, it's free"  
  
And so they all entered the park, and paid 25 cents for animal feed.  
  
"Mommy, Mommy, did god create the tigers too?" grinned a little boy  
  
"Of course, god created everything" the mother repsonded  
  
"Filling your child up with lies? What an awful mother," Farfie paused and licked his  
knife,"wanna know what I like to do, hurt god *grin* Wanna witness how?"  
  
"Sure Mr. Scary Eyepatch man," grinned the little boy again  
  
((A/N: first of all, yes the child does grin too often, second of all, KILL FARFIE,   
KILL!!!!!!))  
  
Out of nowhere appeared SchuSchu, "Sorry about the inconveniance ladies...-"  
  
"My child is a boy..."  
  
"That's nice, anyway, he's psychotic and likes to hurt god so..."  
  
"Stay outta this SchuSchu-honey" grinned the slightly (yes slightly) psychotic Farfie  
  
"We can run off and fuck in the ladies room!"  
  
At this the womans jaw dropped, and she covered her little boy's ears.  
  
"You are SO disgusting!!! How dare you be intimate with another man, especially that   
man, and infront of my son!!!"  
  
"Okay...we can fuck AFTER you kill her and her son."  
  
"Yippie!!!"  
  
And so the tigers ate early that day...  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter Two: The ending, and bathroom re...

  
*By the way, I OWN NOTHING  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
~~~~~~~~^Meanwhile^~~~~~~~~  
  
"Oooh, Crawford! Can I pet and hold the baby tigers?! Please?" Nagi begged  
  
"How much is it," sighed a pissed off Crayfish ((when is he not))  
  
"You can pet these wonderful creatures of god for free,"  
  
Crayfish snickered and wondered if Farfie might run into her...  
  
"Sure Nagi...wait in line...I'm gunna wait in the car."  
  
"Uh lady, don't talk about god if an icy blue haired men with a yellow eye  
and an eye patch is around...he'll do more than kill you..."  
  
"That's nice dear, now run along and play with the baby cubs,"  
  
'You asked for it...' Nagi thought, then said, "Why did you say  
'baby cubs'? Why not one or the other"  
  
_;; "Damn it child, go play!!" :)  
  
Nagi was frightened by this and did as he was told.  
  
  
~~~~~^Outside the Ladies room^~~~~  
  
"Yeeeeaaaaaaah, Farfie. Ooooooooh that feels good."  
  
And evil mix of farfie's Xena-esque war cry, a pleasureable  
moan, and laughter is heard.  
  
"Mommy, the bathroom is making strange noises," Said a girl  
as she met her mother outside the bathroom.  
  
"Riiiight...c'mon dear we'llbe late."  
  
"Shouldn't we get back farfie? I mean, Crayfish and Nagi might  
be looking for us, and..."  
  
"You're right *sinister grin* We'll finish this at home,"  
  
And so they re-entered the park. And after a long while of   
looking they found Nagi, he was still playing with the tigers.  
  
"Yeee, they're sooooooooooooo kawaii, nee SchuSchu" beamed Farfie  
  
((yes, I am aware of how ooc that comment is, it's a fanfic, humor me))  
  
"Wanna take 'em home?" Asked SchuSchu  
  
"Hai," chimed Farfie and Nagi simultaneously.  
  
  
~~~~~~^Later^~~~~~~  
  
And since there were three cubs, they all go one, except Crayfish,  
but that's okay, because the asshole didn't want one anyway.  
  
*~*DISCLAIMER: I don't own Bandon, any tigers, any weiss characters,  
Crayfish's car, any mothers besides my own, no children, no bathrooms, and   
definitally no strange christian-related things....  
  



End file.
